


This Time, I'll Never Let You Go

by TORUKAisJUSTICE



Series: The Art of Stalking [4]
Category: ONE OK ROCK
Genre: And oh, Death, M/M, Poor-Toru getting--, dark?, one-sided toruka (if that shit even exists), yakuza-Taka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 06:09:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13653036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TORUKAisJUSTICE/pseuds/TORUKAisJUSTICE
Summary: His warm soft hands encaged those manly jaws, forcing the man to stare directly up at him. His lust-filled gaze was met by smoldering angry ones, but he didn't care, he wouldn’t give a flying a fuck anyway.His.He’s mine.Mine.





	This Time, I'll Never Let You Go

**Author's Note:**

> This fic have some similarities with **crying_koala2610** 's Strawberries & Cries. I didn't mean it to be that way but when I was almost done writing the draft for it, I suddenly remembered that holy shit someone had written something like this before! I don't intend to plagiarize, and I would gladly take this down if someone, especially the lovely crying_koala2610 would want to.
> 
> Also, the story has a confusing story-telling shits. It's probably because I just sucked in writing these days, but I'll still blame Taka's psychotic shits. 
> 
> On with the story!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction. I do not stake any claim for the members of OOR. The actions and events in this story were all made up by my slightly-corrupted mind. Also, please don't sue me.

Twenty-nine year old Takahiro blankly stared at the huge fireplace across him. It was dark in the room, the stillness of the night was only broken by a loud panting sound behind him and the flames— _oh yes_ , the cackling of the flames as they lapped up and engulfed the humongous trash thrown inside it. He couldn't understand this... _this new emotions_ swirling beneath his chest.

He had everything a man can ask for—wealth, fame, good reputation and the strings of girls trailing behind him wherever he went to. He had been successful in taking over the company and _family_ from his proud father.

Oh, his father _was_ so proud. When he was _still_ alive. Before Takahiro had plunge that long, gleaming _katana_ right through his stomach in front of their whole household. It was so spectacular—how he managed to get to the top and reclaim the seat as the head of the family. _Their_ family. It was easy, like a hot knife slicing through a slab of butter. He couldn't feel any remorse as he dug the blade further and further, ignoring the pained grunts as his old man's eyes gradually became glazed with _dimness_ , with _death_.

_I earned the right to the seat_ , he thought as he pulled the katana out of the old, now-lifeless body of his father. His own flesh and blood. The one who raised him as the cold, conniving _son of a bitch_ he is right now.

How had earned the right to the seat, fair and square. Even at the expense of his father's life.

He was then feared and respected by everyone. A force to reckon with. The _moody emperor_ who could laugh with you then stab right through your chest a second later. He's somewhat bipolar, and he knows it. Maybe a bit psychotic too, _I’ll never know. I’m not even a psychiatrist in the first place._

Taka shrugged and tilted his head sideways. The burst of yellow and orange from the fireplace danced across his pure white skin, making him look an adult—a normal, pretty looking adult—for _once._

He might be a cold, heartless murderer and the head of a yakuza family but he still has a heart beating right within his cheat. He still feels these strange emotions people normally called _love_. It was so hilarious as he woke up one day longing for a person, suddenly wanting to be near _him_ always, _always_. But unfortunately, the said person didn't share the sentiment.

Poor Taka, got his heart shattered like a fucking glass ball at the age of 15.

Back then, he was crying like the snotty brat he is, clinging to the _man_ who has been with him as long as he can remember. The _man_ who came from the long line of families serving the main family, the _man_ who would coddle him with sweets, the _man_ who taught him how to properly read, write and to hold a sword.

He was Taka's world, as cheesy that might sounds. Sure he was _young_ and _naive_ and _hopeful_ to think that the man would stay by his side forever, that the man would be watching when Taka would finally be the head of the family, that the man would be his, _his and only his,_ in the years to come.

 

 

* * *

 

 

But the universe is a sadistic, merciless _bitch_.

Turns out that the man was straight as _a fucking ruler_ , that he didn't swings that way, and that he’s leaving the manor to study, get a job, and start a family.

With the _girl_ he loves.

That hurts like a motherfucker. It was really a huge blow to his _young, naive_ mind because _how dare he?!_ How dare he fall in love with _someone else_?! How dare he fall in love with a girl when Taka was there, with wide, innocent eyes staring— _begging_ at him to be taken _right there and then_?!

Taka has been _willing_ , he was _always_ willing and ready to jump onto the nearest bed and spread his legs to welcome the wanted intrusion but none of those wild fantasies came to life because, _hell_ , the man himself said that he's _homo janai._

**Homo-janai.**

"Pfffft!" Taka couldn't prevent himself from bursting into loud chuckles as he remembered that part of his teenage life, "Can you still remember that?! _Ahahahahaha_ your face was so funny back then!" he laughed, talking to nothing as he leaned back on the huge armchair he’s resting on. His smile is so wide, so pure of bliss as he recalled the flushed, shocked and  utterly disgusted face of the man he _oh-so_ loved.

_It was really funny!_

But it wasn't back then. It was so painful, so utterly devastating that he thought his chest would just explode or burst out of his chest or something equally _mortifying_. The man could’ve just stabbed right through his guts and Taka would still prefer that rather being rejected and frowned upon by the person he looked up to so much.

It hurts but he still let him go. No one really leaves the yakuza without losing at least a finger _and/or_ a limb but Taka had pleaded for the man's life to his father because that’s what _love_ can do to people. It makes you _weak_ and _strong_ all at the same time. It makes you _think and act like a fool_. More importantly, it makes you think you're doing a _noble deed_ by letting the man go just for him to be happy. _At the expense of your happiness._

His 15-year old self might be satisfied with that silly _, gay as fuck_ thoughts but now that he's thinking of it, it was the _biggest, fattest_ bullshit his mind had ever came up with.

_I mean, what the hell?_

Let him go? So that he can be happy?

_What about me?!_

That's a complete, _utter bullshit!_

If you want to be happy, you have to _move and get it yourself._ Take it. Take all you fucking want until your satisfied. _Take it all._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

And Taka did it.

Upon rising as the head, he immediately went searching for the man. It was a lousy job for a leader like him but it's better than randomly hanging out in clubs and _gutting_ the traitors who even dared to dupe him. It took days, _four agonizingly slow_ days until he found him. Until he found the man he oh-so _so loved._

And this time, Taka would _never let him go._

"It was really sad, you know?" he suddenly started in a conversational manner, the huge grin on his lips mellowing into a soft friendly smile as he glanced at the fire place. The stench of burning flesh sure is _sickening_ but Taka had done it countless of times—he had watched his father punished cheaters and traitors by burning them on stake, so it really had no effect whatsoever to him anymore, "I thought you'll understand me? You've always been understanding of me, even better than my parents so I thought that you'll accept me for _who I am_ when I confessed to you. I thought that you felt the same way because what's those stares for? What were those pats and touches and smiles for? Really, you're making my head hurt even if you're long gone, you stupid _heartbreaker_..."

Taka deeply sighed as he run his feminine like fingers on the soft cushion on the arm rest. It's a melodious sound—pleasant to his ears, but eerie amidst the complete silence of his surroundings—as if he's gravely saddened and mourning for the first love that he had lost years and years ago.

"You should have seen me when I finished high school, you know?  My old man was there but he’s obviously not happy with just that. He wanted _more,_ like an award or something but I’m dumb and without you by my side, it was just _so impossible_! You should've seen me kicked those old fuckers's asses for wanting to bend me over and shove their dicks into me! They couldn't keep their old smelly cocks inside their pants and even attacked me in the manor, can you believe that?"

His eyes widened as he got lost in the surges of memories. No one answered him, instead, the flames just cackled noisily, filling the deadly silence in that dark hall.

"So I grabbed my _Tanto_ and gutted all of them, just how like you taught me!" his eyes went bright, dark orbs glinting _maniacally_ as a downright scary grin spread across his full lips.

He looks and sounds like a happy child who have done something good and is excited to show it off his parents to be acknowledged or something.

 "It was full of blood! And _eyeballs!_ And severed hands and dicks! They’re not my first kill but it certainly hit a spot you know? For killing those who threatened me, ne?" he said, before softly giggling and turning to the bright orange flames devouring a _carcass_.

_Damn, how long will it take to burn a body to ashes?! I’m getting tired of this, mou!_

Those shits _could have_ killed him. Ended his life, never giving him another chance to meet the man of his _(wet)_ drams. Then it dawned upon him that it was about fucking damn time to move his ass and change.

Change himself so he can change his _lousy fate._

And he achieved, after years and years of bloodbath, of extortion, of blackmailing, of selling illegal stuff and controlling the underground world--he succeeded, Taka had succeeded.

And as a _bonus_ , he even found his man!

But he didn’t just barged into the man's house and demanded to be taken, _gosh, that would've been so cheap and unclassy_. Taka might be practically drooling at the man his love had become but he's not going to offer himself like cheap whore in Kabuki Cho.

He didn't even show his face. He just followed him around, from his house to his work, to the bar he owns and to the cafes where he took his lovely wife on dates.

_Wait, did I forgot to mention that he_ —the man Taka was oh so dying to meet again, the man who's the reason why Taka is eating _death threats and evading bullet_ s every damn day— _is already married? To a girl?!_

It hurts.

Hurts like a bitch _again_ especially when he can see them acting like love-birds in a cafe—while Taka was subtly glaring at them from his spot, his dark eyeglasses gleaming menacingly inside the establishment and his sweater reaching up to cover half of his face. It makes him gag and want to vomit the entire cup of cappucino and waffles he had devoured while eyeing the couple with _distaste, fury and immense jealousy._ And when his man leaned forward to kiss the girl on the lips, Taka was this **_this_** close in just standing up, stalking towards the table and bury his knife into the woman's head.

But he _digressed._

Because it will be _messy_ and with these many witnesses around, it’ll be a colossal pain in the ass to clean up.

And because the man himself looks so gorgeous in that leather jacket and disheveled honey blond hair. Taka can hear the man’s voice which had become _deeper, sexier and more masculine_ as he ages and _oh._ It also did wonders to Taka's twitching dick beneath his pants.

Maybe he should reassess his _principles_ of not stooping down like a cheap whore. With that bedroom eyes, killer looks and sex-god like voice, Taka can l _oosen_ up his strict principles _. I guess I can be a cheap whore, oh damn, he can use me as roughly as he can gaaaaaah i can't believe I'm having a boner just by thinking about him holy shit!_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

So even before Taka would lose his sanity over his _perpetual_ hard-ons and this desire of monopolizing the man's attention and love, he knew he needed to act. And damn fast at that.

Take it.

_Take it all, Taka_ , his mind said.

And so he did.

But unfortunately, shit happens when _you really don’t_ need it. And Taka wouldn’t have anything that might separate them. So he did the _right thing_ and burned the body.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He grinned and stood up from the chair, stretching his limbs and massaging the kinks out of his neck and shoulders. Damn, he never knew that having a monologue will be so damn exhausting. Now he needs to unwind, relax and get the mind blowing sex he's been craving for since he's fifteen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He grinned and slowly stalked— _graceful as a leopard stalking to his frightened prey_ —towards the still, yet slightly shaking figure sitting on another plush chair. He looks so _gorgeous_ , so _handsome_ , so _sexy_ like that—eyes wide with fear and betrayal, droplets of sweat rolling from his temples (and making Taka want to just snoop down and lick it off, and _oh I 'll definitely do that later_ ), his perfectly chiseled lips parted to gasp for air and his jaws, _damn_ those manly, sharply defined jaws that makes Taka's knees wobble like fucking jellies.

_Oh, did I forgot to mention his eyes?_ His large, heavily lidded eyes glazed with something akin to fear, pain, disbelief, and resignation. _And oh, anger_. It was _burnin_ g with anger.

Just by himself, the man was already a sight enough to make Taka drooling all over the floor. Add the shadows of the flames dancing across his face and arms and Taka was beyond ready to just jump on his lap and grind his bottom— _fast and hard_ —over the denim-cladded groin.

Finally, Taka licked his lips as he stood right in front of the man. He was towering over him and the man craned his neck to look up at him with burning, scathing glares which Taka can only _disturbingly_ interpret as deep, hot desire for him.

"Why did you do it...?" he rasped out, his voice low and rough and pleasant to Taka's ears.

"Hmmm? _Nani ga_?" Taka feigned innocence as he _shamelessly_ ogled the man's handsome features with wide almond-shaped eyes. He raise his arm, ignoring the pain cutting through his chest when the man visibly flinched, to tuck those stubborn blond strands behind the man's ear. It was a gentle _act of love_ , of _cherishing_ him the way he did when Taka was still a child, but all it did was make the man more disgusted and mad at him.

The man scowled, shaking Taka's hand off his face as he spat his next words, "You killed _her_..." he gritted out but taka was so busy straddling him and making himself comfortable on the man's lap, "You know that I love her _and yet_ you still killed her...you...you've _changed_...you...I don’t know you anymore..." he grunted out as Taka started to move, grinding his perky ass on the man's crotch.

Taka wanted to say that _it’s okay,_ everyone changes; that it's fine because Taka doesn’t even know _himself_ anymore and that he really should stop saying that he loves the bitch or _else_ , Taka wouldn't mind gagging him with a rug or something.

"Shhh, _shhh_ ," Taka hushed him, leaning down until he rested his forehead on the sweaty ones—his hips practically rolling _back and forth_ , his ass bouncing and eliciting sharp, angry growls from the man he loved so much, "I’ll do _anything_ for you...she's a hindrance so I had to take a risk and get rid of _ahnnn_ her," Taka's eyes fluttered close as he snapped his hips faster, driving it down _further_ to create the _delicious_ friction between his ass and the still body beneath him, "Can’t you— _ahh_ —see? I'll risk everything for you...can't you see how I..,” he bit his plump lower lip as he made his movements faster, “…love you, ne?"

His warm soft hands encaged those manly jaws, forcing the man to stare directly up at him. His lust-filled gaze was met by _smoldering angry_ ones, but he didn't care, he wouldn’t give a flying a fuck anyway.

_His._

_He’s mine._

_Mine._

"You know… _hng_ …I would never love you even if you do these things, _right_?" the man hissed out, probably controlling the natural reaction of his body on Taka's seductive ministrations. He couldn't blame him, he just saw his wife getting gutted and thrown into the fire pit just a few hours ago so having a _writhing, moaning and bouncing pretty man_ on his lap is still not an excuse to have a boner, right?

_Right._

Taka nodded to himself, his lips splitting in a huge grin as spoke directly next to the man's ear—totally oblivious of the tears that were silently cascading over his flushed cheeks—

"I know, Toru-san," he hotly whispered, earning a resigned whimper from the larger man beneath him, " _I know_."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

Takahiro doesn't know if he's crying for _the joy_ of being reunited, with his first love after more than a decade of being separated, or because of the fact that he knows _, that he's painfully aware,_ that he could _never_ gain the love and affection from this man.

_Not now, not ever._

* * *

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think?
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading~!


End file.
